Rest in Peace, Sweet Prince

Well, The Purple One is gone.  I’m a little disappointed that we (by whom I mean the public) was not made privy to where his final resting place will be.  However, I am happy that his estate will be made into a museum.  Can’t say I didn’t see that coming.   

Prince, by all accounts, was a loving and caring man, a generous man, obviously a straight up genius and, something you won’t hear much about – appeared to be an introvert despite his flashy stage persona.  Sure, you hear that he was purposely mysterious, declining to do interviews for much of his career, you never saw him doing the big Hollywood thing, and he was conspicuously absent from the tabloids.  He pretty much stuck to home, tooling around his Minneapolis on sundry errands, but he mostly seemed to stick to his sprawling Paisley Park estate.  No extrovert could stand to be that intensely private for long.   

From the rare occasions when we did glimpse him not performing, he seemed reticent; slightly uncomfortable, self-composed.  Quite introverted indeed.  Perhaps even a little shy too.  I’m very sad that corporeally he is gone, but like all the brilliant and famous among us, he will live on forever through his work. Apparently the work we do know only scratches the surface.  Reportedly Prince has a vault of work that, according to a close source, “would take a decade to listen to.”  In the end, Prince died as he lived, on his own terms.  In a world dominated by extroverted norms, that’s a hell of a life.  Rest in peace, and goodnight sweet Prince.

I Hate Shy People? WTF? Really?!

Okay. Wow. This is another WTF? Oh, Really? This time from Facebook (I know, not Facebook! You would never find something like that there!). The page is called "I Hate Shy People (It's just rude) Some of us make an effort!"

As if countless shy people don’t make an effort just leaving the house every day. Un-effing-believable. Here’s the desciption for the page, unedited:

"I hate shy people. It is socialy rude. Everyone is shy but most of us make an effort to overcome this. However why should someone be allowed to be rude because they are shy?! I hate that 'Oh don't mind them they are just shy' Just Fucking rudethats waht they are. If your too shy to talk become a monk dont go out stay in your room."

You know what? I “hate” people that can barely spell, but do you see me devoting a Facebook page to that? While this poster has it right when they say everyone is shy - that’s in certain situations. Completely different from having generalized shyness and/or social anxiety – where a person feels consistently shy. So sorry, whoever wrote the asinine ‘I hate shy people’ page, but shy people are racked with anxiety nearly all of the time and find it difficult and scary to speak in many situations. They aren’t trying to be rude to you. And they probably are making the effort. That’s why they’re at your stupid party.

It should go without saying, but me remind you: all types of people are rude. Nobody has a corner on rudeness. So why not a Facebook page devoted to how much you hate rude people? We can all relate to that, and since nobody takes pride in being rude, nobody gets offended.  Shy people are not synonymous with rude people.

As a shy person you know what I hate? Outgoing people who think that quiet people are rude just by virtue of being quiet as opposed to being loud, non-stop talking machines. I also hate ignorant fools who create ridiculous Facebook pages saying they hate a whole class of people who can’t help the fact that they are shy and accusing those same people of “not making an effort.”

For years I made the effort to be polite, to say hi, to speak up, to talk more about myself.  But my efforts were NEVER rewarded by more outgoing people who still wanted to harp on how quiet I was! It seemed like for them, whatever efforts I made were never good enough. Well here's a breaking news bulletin: some people are shy and quiet and that’s just the way it is. They are not being rude just because they are not exactly like you, Mr. or Mrs. Extrovert-Without-a-Clue. Nor were they put on this Earth to stroke your fragile little extroverted ego with non-stop jabber. Get the fuck over it.

Ambivert, Shambivert. You’re either an innie or an outie! Period. End of Story.

Some people claim to be both introverted and extroverted but they’re full of shit! You’re one or you’re the other. Period. End of Story. It’s chemical - as in your brain chemicals. That means unless there’s a pill that rebalances your chemicals so you reach some neurochemical ambivert nirvana, you’re an innie or an outie.

You can certainly be a strong, medium, or low introvert or extrovert but just because you are an extrovert who likes downtime to read a book or an introvert who likes to party (like yours truly), doesn’t mean you’re some mutant offspring of both. I think when people say they’re both it’s because they are confusing introversion with shyness or extroversion with being a loud, party animal. One has little to do with the other. It's about how you prefer to face the world and how you draw, for lack of a better phrase, your psychic energy.  Extroverts need people and activities outside of themselves to feel alive and energized and Introverts need alone time and solitary activity to feel the same.

I would class myself as a medium introvert. I like a party where there’s food, dancing, or some type of activity which does not center on small talk, but the people and the activities don't energize me in the way they would an extrovert. Simply put: no after party. I was at the party, it was fun, and now there’s that thing called sleep I need to attend to. I seriously don’t need to stay until the last person stumbles out.

I also don’t mind, if I’m rested and in the mood, chatting up a stranger or two. I like people just fine, contrary to what some think (sadly my extroverted significant other thought I was a complete misanthrope until I set him straight). I just don’t need to engage them 24/7. Talking and hanging out is not my raison d’être. If I did that all the time, when would I read, draw, write or enjoy the movies? Exactly.

New Blog Feature: WTF? Oh Really? with The Shytrovert

Today I’m introducing a new feature on The Shytrovert blog. I’m calling it WTF? Oh Really? with The Shytrovert It will feature some of the un-effing-believable things I’ve come across on the interwebs about shy and introverted individuals. My first WTF? Oh Really? is an oldie but goodie from Yahoo Answers, a.k.a. the Headquarters of WTFs. My remarks are in italics. Here goes:


Do shy people deserve to live in our society?
It's shocking to see such introverted/dumb, boring psychopaths living in today's progressive, open-minded society. (Oh the irony) They have got no life and set a bad example on others. They are misfits in this world.

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

…these introverted "dumb" and "boring" psychopaths are the people working in the background. just because they're not up front and in your face doesn't mean they're not there.

famous introverts:

Einstein, Jane Goodall, Eisenhower, Marie Curie, Ghandi, Mozart, Speilberg... all of these people have contributed to society, hell, the WORLD, in ways that you would never even come close to if you keep holding your judgmental (and hateful) beliefs.

Now, there are plenty of non-famous introverts out there working as engineers, science researches, and analysts who are making quiet contributions to our society.

Introverts learn by observation, and thus have far more understanding than you obviously do.

Introverts do have a life. Unlike extroverts, who have a wide group of acquaintances, introverts prefer to a have a small group of very close friends. These friends and family mean the world to the introverts.

Just because someone doesn't fit in to YOUR definition of "normal", doesn't mean they deserve to die. They aren't misfits and make up 50% of the population. Introverts are normal, functioning members of society who, just because of their preference of solitary activities to constantly being with people, don't ever deserve to be looked down upon.

Do some research before you run your mouth off. Google "introvert".

Yeah! That response, by a rightfully indignant introvert I assume, deserves a 10 on a scale of 1 – 10 for absolute scorching BURN. Ouch.

I Got Your Personality Right Here!

I Got Your Personality Right Here!



One thing I truly resent about extroverts or more outgoing folk is their tendency to believe that shy, introverted, or quiet people (shytroverts) have no “personality,” as if we were aliens walking around on Earth without souls or something. If being boisterous loud mouth making a spectacle of myself trying to hog the limelight means I have no personality, OK. I guess I don’t. But let’s bring it back to reality. According to Webster’s here’s the definition of personality a: the quality or state of being a person b: personal existence. For you nitpickers it can mean having charisma as well, but the first definition is simply BEING A HUMAN. And Shytroverts definitely fall under that category, like it or not. We’ve also got personality in the sense you mean, you’re just not likely to see it unless you get the privilege of being our friend. That’s because Shytroverts rarely show their whole selves to total strangers or people they don’t know well. So for the love of all that’s holy, stop saying we don’t have a personality and we’ll stop saying you’re a shallow, empty headed loud mouth. Truce?

Are Introverts Nuts?

That’s the question business communication coach Nancy Ancowitz asks in a recent Psychology Today article. Apparently The American Psychiatric Association (APA) is considering including introversion as a criteria for diagnosing mental disorders in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—commonly known as the DSM-5.

I think I speak for all introverts when I say weren’t not nuts, but those DSM-5 bastards sure are. Here’s what they define as introversion:

‘Withdrawal from other people, ranging from intimate relationships to the world at large; restricted affective experience and expression; limited hedonic capacity.’ Additionally, this definition includes ‘deficit in the capacity to feel pleasure or take interest in things.’

Ancowitz is concerned – as we all should be – that the stigma introverts already experience in society will only be exacerbated, especially in the workplace. To put it all in perspective she spoke with Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of Introvert Power who said:

‘If an introvert is clinically depressed, that’s a problem. If an introvert is debilitated by anxiety, that is a problem... But if an introvert is simply an introvert, please don’t render that person ill. We are talking half the population here!’

I couldn’t have said it better. Stupid ass APA. Who’s running that? A bunch of extroverts? Geesh.

I'm So Quiet? We'll You're So Rude!

GRRRR!!! If there’s anything that gets under a shytrovert’s skin more it’s the phrase “you’re so quiet” or its equally annoying variant, “why are you so quiet?” I mean seriously! Not only are these questions rude, but they’re like asking someone “why are you so red headed?” or “why are you so black/white/Asian?” The horror of this is there never seems to be a decent enough comeback at the ready (shytroverts don’t think quickly on their feet and would be too afraid of sounding harsh even if they could). Luckily, what we lack in quickness as shytroverts we make up for with the introverted skill of reflection and writing ability. Using mine, I came up with a list of one-liners ranging from mild to spicy that I can toss out at the rude and clueless (extroverts). One-liners with asterisks have been real-world tested by yours truly.



1. It’s my ninja training: old habits die hard.


2. I was sent to Earth to observe.*


3. Well, somebody has to be the designated listener!


4. It’s easier to hear myself think.


5. I guess the cat got my tongue; I’m still waiting to get it back.


6. Oh, do you really think so? I’ve been practicing so hard!


7. Keep talking, I'm writing a book.*

8. I'm plotting a world-wide take over*

9. I don’t like to question God’s wisdom on such matters.


10. That’s very astute of you!


11. I am? Thanks for pointing that out!


12. Wow! Sherlock Holmes has nothing on you!


13. Nothing gets past you, does it?


14. That’s a conundrum wrapped in a riddle and dipped in an enigma.


15. Must be a good reason; God doesn’t make mistakes.


16. I read somewhere that about 30% of all people are quiet.


17. When I figure it out, I’ll get back to you.


18. Are you serious?


19. What do you mean, quiet?


20. Care to elaborate?


21. I am? Please, tell me how I can change!


22. If my shrink couldn’t figure it out, I’m sure I don’t know!


23. I'm saving my voice for primal scream week. Oh, you never heard of it?


24. I have a rare condition called introvertstendtobequietitis.


25. Why do you have blue/brown/gray/green eyes/ten digits/two ears?


Now it’s your turn. Let me know what you think. Do you have some zingers or comebacks to share that you’ve either used or want to use?