Positive Shyness

Shy Violet

Can shyness be a positive trait?  In this culture which so often touts outgoing “people-person” traits as best, being shy is often seen as something negative.  You are thought to be “submissive” and “one down” next to the hard-driving alphas of the world.  Even some introverted people, when trying to explain their temperament unwittingly put shyness in a negative light by quickly proclaiming “I’m not shy!” as if it’s a bad thing.

As a person who is both shy and introverted, I see positive aspects in both my temperament and personality type. To me, shyness is the opposite of boldness, and therefore a personality trait.  Not to be confused with Social Anxiety, which is shyness gone amok, and is a disease. 

Here’s a list of three positive characteristics of shyness from the website Beat Shyness Secrets:

1. Children utilize positive shyness as a defense mechanism. It is an innate instinct that a stranger may be bad, and it keeps children from volunteering for kidnappings. Outgoing children are not necessarily doomed, but shyness in children can provide an additional safety feature.

2. Shyness affords people time to acclimate to a new situation or scenario before they jump in. It can help you to slow down your interactions so your brain has the necessary time to sense danger or hidden traps.  Useful in cases when you start a new job, and you need time to determine the unspoken rules and codes of conduct.

3. Shyness gives people time to acclimate to one another and affords both parties a chance to present themselves tentatively. This time of slower interaction can decrease fear of rejection and can offer a chance to decide if a person is friend material or a danger. 

In addition some scientists believe that shyness may have evolved specifically to keep you safe. Being reserved and cautious can help you make better impressions and decisions.  

As Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing.”