The Incomparable Voice of Ms. Whitney Houston

  

That’s the verdict of entertainment reporter who claims she was extremely talented, but technically deficient.  In other words lots of natural talent without proper vocal training. 

According to a Washington vocal coach, Whitney’s voice was damaged after she developed nodules as a result of straining her voice and not knowing how to manage and care for her vocal cords.

She often pushed her  “chest voice” to its limits instead of relying on her  lighter, dazzling “head voice,” the same expert claimed in a  2010 USA Today article “but it’s extremely damaging. It causes hoarseness, irritated vocal folds, calluses. It often requires surgery and rehabilitation.”

I’m sure her years of chian smoking, drug and alcohol abuse, not to mention being married to Bobby B did her no favors.  It was crushing to hear of her sudden and untimely death at the age of 48, and I’m sure all of her fans, yours truly included also mourned for the comeback that will never be. 

Now it really sounds as if it never would have been, even had she survived that fateful Saturday. Her voice died before she did.  The Whitney that we knew, the pre-Bobby brown Whitney with her unearthly beautiful pipes, beauty and glamour was already long gone.

Am I saying this is somehow a blessing?  Not at all.  The people who loved her, loved her voice or no voice through thick and thin.  But I can’t help consider that maybe she thought in her final moments that it was a blessing.  To lose such an instrument and face boos when you once faced standing ovations and thunderous applause, I can only imagine how devastating that must have been.  And remember, she had lived with this state of affairs for a long time.

Maybe she had gotten over it, decided to work with what remained.  In the end, we will never know.  At least she managed to reach the stars and touch all of us along the way.  Her voice will live forever.  Thank you, Whitney.  You have finally found peace.

Why am I so Quiet? I'm Crazy, of course. You knew that...

 
Ever wonder why nobody ever gets called out for talking too damn much?  Not in public anyway. Everybody just grins and bears loud people.  Oh, they'll say stuff about them, behind their backs.  But if you’re quiet, not bothering anyone, everybody wants to know why.  Well, if you’re crazy enough, like the Shytrovert, you can just start saying shit.  Crazy shit.  What kind of crazy shit?  How about these gems:

• What?  Quiet!  I am not!   Who’s saying that?  Why I oughta! Let me at ‘em!  Let me at ‘em I say!!!!
• What?  Why am I on a diet? 
• What?  Why don’t I try it?  Try what?
• I know you are but what am I?
• What? Why am I such a riot?
• Why don’t I fry it?  I’m not sure what you’re talking about but I can tell you that I recommend baking.  Backing is much healthier.
• You have got a lot of nerve asking me that!
• Why I never!
• Why are you so talky?
• Seriously?  How would I know?
• The same reason that…did you hear that?
• Oh my God.  Is it that noticeable? What should I do?  I’m so scared.  Hold me.

After you get done spouting this nonsense, no one will ask you why you’re so quiet again.  The answer will be obvious: you’re insane. 

Send in the Clowns – The Republican Bid for the White House

Ah, I am back from my blog vacay, and ready to start ranting again as only I know how.  Today I want to write about the Republicans.  Yeah, I know you’re probably sick of hearing about those guys, join the club.  But seriously, how entertaining has it been for those who are paying attention and actually care?  About as fun as any travelling clown show I imagine.  See, I haven’t been paying close attention precisely because the candidates are clowns and I don’t think America is quite as stupid as the Europeans think we are.  If, say, a sensible candidate were still running or several (like Jon Huntsman) I might have some level of interest and concern. 

Unfortunately for the clown constituency that comprises the Republican base, Huntsman bowed out a while ago and as I’m writing this Rick Santorum, whose last name now means something naughty and gross, thanks to Dan Savage has one not one but THREE freaking primaries.  Not Mitt Romney whom they erroneously believe can beat Obama.  Beyond his tanned, oleaginous façade Romney is just as extreme as the rest of them.  Plus, he’s a rich dude completely out of touch with the common man and just good ol’ fashioned reality.

So this is the Republican field.  Ooh, I’m shaking in my little liberal (ish) booties. If Obama doesn’t get a second term, not only will we start sliding toward a theocratic fascist state, in which the poor are left to twist in the wind and women forced to bear their rapists babies, but we’ll undoubtedly piss off some unstable nation and start a thermal nuclear war.  Hyperbolic? Hysterical?  Just read for yourself some of the ranting coming from these nut bars.

Vote democratic. Our very lives depend on it.

I bid you good day.  

Overheard on the Interwebs…Eating Disorder Double Standards

  

I found this during my routine surfing adventures.  It’s a comment on a story about the increasing incidences of eating disorders among women 35 and older.  This post brings up an interesting issue, that there is a double standard in effect for those who have anorexia or bulimia versus those who have binge-eating disorder because the latter tend to be noticeably overweight.  A warning, this post is gritty, bitter and emotional – and that’s why I needed to share it. 

“Anorexics get pitied and reassured. Bulemics get sympathy and understanding. ‘Oh, you're so brave, you just need to be strong. We can get through this.’

“Binge eaters and sugar addicts are referred to as "weak willed" or "gluttons," are beaten down, belittled and patronized, and get chided for being fat, unless they're not fat, in which case they get off scott-free.”

There is no kind, compassionate reassurance, there's just lots of disdain, disgust, mockery and abuse. Because we have one of "THOSE" disorders. The fatty disorders. The kind that makes ya fat, you fatty. Why you so fat? You're such a disgrace, to the whole human race, fatso. Put down the fork.

You might not think or say these things, but I assure you, most people hear "binge eating disorder" and think about a 600 pound Jabba scarfing down burgers like a cartoon character. Compassion and dignity is the furthest from their minds.

The compulsion to binge is just as strong as the compulsion to starve, but pardon them for not having the pretty, photogenic eating disorders.

It's all funny, right? Just hilarious jokes that for some reason only you can get in on.

Until your best friend dies because she failed to seek treatment for a treatable condition. Because she was convinced no one would help her, that no one could love her, that no one thought she was a mutually respectable human being. Because every day she'd walk home and get snorted at by passers-by, and the only way she could cope was to rely on comfort food.

Suddenly those fat jokes leave a sour aftertaste.

 Or maybe they don't.

 Maybe they're still just as funny to you.

Nothing funnier than a dead fatty, isn't there? I'd laugh with you, but she was one of my closest friends, so I don't feel much like sharing in the joke…

Overheard on the Interwebs: I Would Talk More If Not for the Stupid Ass Small Talk

 
“Pretty much everything you guys have said hits the nail on the head for me. I remain quiet about most things because you can't really start up a conversation with someone about metaphysics (something that interest me, for example), say, while waiting for the bus, being out shopping, or walking down the street. It's nice and all to exchange pleasantries, but is not enough to make a true friend in my opinion. My line of thought tends to go something like "well, they said hi to me and I mumbled a response... now what the heck am I supposed to say?" All the while I am wondering if this person is going to be a worthwhile person to talk to. I know I come off as a snob this way and I don't know what to do about it.



Now on this board, we can talk about what interests us specifically because we can pick and choose the topics and we can label them with titles. Face-to-face conversation doesn't work that way... we can't pick and choose what we want to talk about so easily.


I find this to be a conundrum because I still have to interact with people in the real world, and it is becoming increasingly awkward for me because I feel this build up of energy within me the longer I stay quiet. If I'm not careful that energy turns into negativity and I start having bad thoughts about people. This is why I am becoming more and more of a recluse over time... the only place I truly feel at ease is at home, where I spend the vast majority of time behind my computer screen.


maybe I just need to get out more or something? or get more hobbies so I have more to talk and/or think about while I'm out in public? I dunno. I'd like to think I could talk about a fairly wide range of topics, but I just don't know how to approach them without sounding completely abrupt, like I'm just being an interviewer or something.”

This is a common introvert complaint from a person on Social Anxiety Support Forum, and I’m going to assume that like me, this individual is a Shytrovert. Here’s what I have to say to all you intros and shytros out there: you will have to face the sickening realization that being a skilled socializer involves wading in the drecky waters of shallow, vapid small talk. I’m sorry. But there it is. It’s hard. I know it is. But in situations with strangers you are forced to seek the LCD (lowest common denominator) of conversational topics precisely because the person is unfamiliar to you and there is no way to gauge ahead of time their interests, likes, dislikes, etc. EXCEPT through the painful and frequently awkward getting to know you phase that necessitates small talk.

I know nothing annoys me more than going to a party and being asked 110 times what I do for a living or God forbid to getting cut out of a conversation when people start talking about sports I don’t watch or activities I do not engage in. Oh, let me not forget, my favorite conversations (sarcasm) involve great vacation spots I can visit and exactly how many miles it is from one destination to the next, ad nauseum. Unfortunately, socializing successfully is all about this crap. It’s rare that you will find someone you seriously click with that does share your esoteric interests.

Your best bet is to learn the rules so you have a greater chance at hitting the right conversational button that might lead you to that person. In the meantime, study up. Learn how to smile a lot (not too much) ask leading, open-ended questions, and act like you’re interested. Learn how to extricate yourself and exist in the crowd without looking sad and bored as shy folks are wont to do.

Did you know a lot of outgoing people smile a lot while they talk? Watch them and learn those outgoing mannerisms. You will have to learn to fake it until you make it like yours truly. Not saying I’m expert, I’m still learning; but I get better and better every day. I have no choice. My husband is very outgoing with tons of friends and occasionally I have to spend time with these people. I just pretend to be extroverted during those times. Yes, it’s fucking exhausting but so is hearing my husband ask me repeatedly if I had fun or not. Do I? Sometimes. Some of his friends are quite amusing and like to be amused. I know I’ll go to hell for this, but I love it when something insane happens like somebody gets pissy drunk and makes a pass at someone else’s wife or a fight nearly breaks out. Drama is excellent when you can watch a proverbial train wreck from the sidelines. But honestly, most of the time I’m bored shitless and can’t wait to leave. This past weekend all I could think about is how all the people time was distracting me from reading the Sunday paper or catching up on my movie watching.

Of course, for extroverts, that kind of stuff is what you do because there’s no one to talk to no social thing to attend and/or its lousy outside. But that’s another post for another day.

Somebody Needs to Fuck Up that Idiot Satoshi Kanazawa

 

Psychology Today, a publication I will no longer read, allowed Evolutionary Psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa to post to its website  a supposedly objective study that proves black women are uglier on average than every other ethnicity.  Then, to add further to this ridiculous insult, they refused to remove the “study” from their website until after a firestorm that erupted worldwide of enraged (and sadly mostly black females) calling for them to do so.  It wasn’t until a whole week had passed that they decided to issue a formal apology.  In the Shytrovert’s humble opinion Kanazawa is a racist BITCH and the racist white folks he obviously was trying to impress don’t view him any favorably than they do blacks. So that makes him a fucking idiot too.  He has only proved one thing with his study. That racism against black people is alive and well.

No Study Needed To Know Black Women Devalued

Of course black women are perceived to be less attractive than other races of women.  Did we seriously need this piece of shit research to know that?  It's patently obvious to anyone with two eyes and a brain.  This is America, a country founded on white supremacy and keeping its foot on the neck of blacks and other racial so-called minorities for 400 years, people.  I was only offended by this study because it is RACIST.  Not because my feelings are hurt that, surprise, is a racist country that holds white is superior in every way, thinks I'm ugly.  I already knew that, and I have never bought into that.  I know who I am, and I know what this country is. 
I Know I'm Not Ugly

They say I'm ugly, but it doesn't stop the white, black, Asian, or Hispanic men from hitting on me non-withstanding my beautiful unlined chocolate colored skin, short natural hair, round a** curvaceous hips and high riding tittays.  I'm even married to a white guy.  I know I'm beautiful, and I know there exists a concerted, racially driven effort among many to try and disinvest me of this knowledge. 


The "Study" Is Part of A Backlash Against Black Women

This is a backlash, pure and simple. It’s well known that whenever a group begins to make strides, the powers that be will institute a mighty push back to shove that group back into its place.  So let’s see, who has been making strides of late? BLACK WOMEN.  We are going to school in ever higher numbers, we are in the public eye as media moguls, government officials, first ladies, we are in the workplace and we are marrying white men.  I am not worried about fools like Kanazawa.  I see his "study" and other bullshit denigrating the beauty and humanity of the black woman for what they are: the latest weapons in a war against me. A war being waged because of fear and envy and I refuse to buy into this shit.

Black Women Are Quite Feminine - Scientific Fact

And another thing, black women actually have more ESTROGEN than other women.  Wouldn’t it then follow that we are MORE feminine on average?  Hate propaganda like detritus Kanazawa had the balls to spew is precisely why I stopped trying to live up to a Eurocentric standard of beauty.  I realized that every time I paid a stylist to put dangerous chemicals on my hair to alter its natural texture I was unwittingly reinforcing the ideology of white supremacy and denigrating my unique African beauty.

I urge black women everywhere to take a courageous first step and STOP relaxing, weaving, and wearing colored contacts. Why should we mimic oppressive standards and give idiots ammunition to point to our actions as proof of their imagined superiority. If we don't show pride in who we really are and respect ourselves we can't expect anyone else to respect us. Lastly, black men: not enough of you stood up for us.  To those who did not and those who believe Kanazawa, suck a dick, bitches.  And don’t you ever glare at me again when I’m out with my white husband.  You know who you are.

Random Ass Post Tuesday

 


Today’s Random Ass Post concerns the delectable Mr. Johnny Depp and why he, to my knowledge, has NEVER been dogged by the press about whether or not he has gone under the knife. Meanwhile, his contemporary, the equally delectable Ms. Demi Moore, is constantly dogged about it. Oooh weee, what’s up with that? Double standard much?

Maybe people take it for granted that women age some much faster and more poorly than men (they don’t) or that women are scrutinized much more for their looks than men (absolutely true and positively unfair). Such is life. Still, it’s an annoying double standard.

Ms. Moore is also famous for starting the “cougar” trend of “older” women marrying younger men (or using them for purely carnal pleasure) - something men have done for millennia without so much as a raised societal eyebrow. Even though Ms. Moore is only 15 years her husband’s senior – biologically old enough to be his mother, but socially old enough to be his big sister – she catches hell for it.

Meanwhile, Nicholas Cage married a young woman 22 years his junior, and Woody Allen scandalized Hollywood by taking up with and eventually marrying his step daughter - 34 years his junior. Despite these high profile dirty old men marrying mere girls, society didn’t confer upon a whole category of such men a snappy, predatory name like “wolf,” or “bear.”

Examples of male/female age gaps like those previously mentioned are just a few of the reasons I find the term “cougar” highly offensive. Cougar as a descriptor for older women who date younger men is simply sexist, ageist and highlights all the double standards women are consistently subjected to.

For the love of all that’s holy, can someone explain to me how it’s perfectly okay for a man to date an actual GIRL – while it’s not okay for a woman to date a grown ass man less than 20 years her junior?

On a personal level, I could care less about age-gap relationships. As long as two consenting adults can overcome whatever generational and social hurdles they’ll ultimately face to be together, more power to them. Sure, dating someone who is 20 when you’re 50 is a little odd, creepy even. And it just doesn’t matter if the younger person is male, female or something in between. But who am I? The dick and pussy police?

If the media and anyone else are going to pester Demi Moore about her alleged plastic surgeries and her age relative to her husband's, why should her male colleagues get a free pass? Shit, for all we know Johnny Depp drinks the blood of eight-year-old boys to continue looking as young as he does. But somehow, his good looks at 48 are never scrutinized simply because he is male.

Frankly, I think we all need to get over ourselves. The reality: more than we can imagine – middle age is not some magic threshold that one passes over then suddenly fines themselves degenerating into a wrinkled mass of flesh. Actually, how people age varies from individual to individual. Just as no single 13-year-old looks the same, no single 40-, 50- or 60-something looks the same.

It’s entirely possible that Demi Moore is telling the absolute truth: she has had nothing done to her face. Plenty of people, even white folks, look youthful for their age. Women included. Wow, what a concept.