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Pacific Northwest, United States
I am The Shytrovert a proud, moderately shy INFP and this is my blog. I write about society, relationships, current events and how shy and introverted folks can cope in an extroverted world.

4/21/10

The Power of Politeness

Being shy and introverted is tough. Sometimes it’s all you can do to propel yourself out of the house, let alone endure those annoying extroverts who insist you snap in line and behave more like them. Not only does their constant socializing and talking drive you mad, but it goes so much against your grain – like Mother Theresa slapping an orphan. However, there’s one thing you MUST do at a minimum if you want to improve your social comfort: be polite. Learn what politeness looks like, speaks like, and moves like. From a kind attitude comes empathy, kind words, and kind actions.By learning to be more polite, you will help mitigate any negative attitudes that more outgoing people have toward you.


Also, know that you’re not being polite merely by virtue of not being an asshole and sitting quietly in a corner. To extroverts, if you don’t talk you’re rude by default. So learn to say hello with a big smile. Yes, you will feel like the biggest phony actor of all time, but no one else will know you’re faking it. Like I said in my previous post, you just need to talk!

I know you’ve been hearing this all your life. The difference is, those clueless people never told you what to talk about. So what should you talk about? It doesn't matter. Your talk can consist of anything from brief comments, uh-huhn’s, or even questions - anything really; you just need to demonstrate that you're present and paying attention. Even if what you say is a throwaway, people will remember that you said something and that simple act will demonstrate to others that you’re friendly and approachable.

Remember: you don’t have to impress anybody or say anything profound. Most people will not remember the precise content of your words, anyway. As you may have also heard, most people are too busy thinking about themselves! I know this is true because I have been practicing these very techniques in my life. Are you skeptical? Let's discuss.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:25 AM

    I'm skeptical.

    If I don't talk I'm rude by default, but once it is revealed that I have something you want, (like your crush, a new job) you must now confront me. Fuck extroverts. I say play them all and make them beg for my validation.

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    Replies
    1. the shytrovert8:00 AM

      I think you can still do that, but not if you have already been written off as an a-hole.

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